I’m a girl with so many things to dream of, too much of things I guess, but from all of that, what I really want to do right now, this very second is laying on the high rooftop with my back press against the roof ground and let my eyes see the wonder of the night sky. Imagine all the eyes, the billion or maybe the infinite eyes of the sky sparkle and wink at me for a thousand times and lure me into the whole new world that I’ve been dreaming of. Better yet, I can lay down on the nature itself, feel the grass beneath me, the cool night air against my skin and hear the sound of the living creatures around me and somehow make myself unite with the surroundings and just flow with the wind. I am no saint, but I do want my heart to be purified, to feel nothing, but happiness and there’s no such words as sorrow, gloom, sadness, hatred, specially hatred in my heart. What’s with all of the people who like to mind other people business and proclaim ‘war’ between their selves. Why can’t they live in peace and live happily ever after, just like the thought of every human kids used to think? why can’t we think as an ignorant kid anymore, where the world only felt like an enormous play ground and everything that lay beyond us was nothing but exciting path to walk on? I don’t really know the answer, but maybe it’s because of the basic nature of the human being who really like a bit or so many violence to be added to their life. Aren’t those people think about others, about the effect that they bring out to the world. I am not naive, I know the world is cruel, it’s no secret anymore, everyone who ‘declared’ as a grown up knows, but I also know that there are still so much kindness out there.
My brother once said that I am a free spirit, I have a different way of thinking through stuffs, sometimes I used to over think unimportant problem and it’s really bad for me. I really want to be free, to travel all over the world and crack all the mysteries of each places and I want to write everyday, every night before I sleep about my awesome adventure that I live on. Somehow I feel trap right now, I don’t really know what to do, I’m going to face final exams in days count, but I can’t seem to hold myself. I used to be a girl with high scores in every subject, I had to or I might cracked up, but now I’m no longer that hideous girl, I know what I want and what I want have nothing much to do with hard subjects, math or whatever I have studied in high school, like I said, I want to be free, but I also want to be remembered in positive ways. I gotta admit it, it’s really hard to always argue and fighting with myself between what I want and what I need, I know my priorities, but other side of me likes to deny it and try to break free, to just do all the fun stuffs. So what I really do right now is thinking I’m going to get out of this misery in less than two months, with that, I’m going to make the best out of me, be that hideous girl for a little while longer to make great, better yet legendary high scores on my high school certificate, because like it or not she is still the part of me, the part of me that loves perfection, so I’m not going to let myself down. After I finished all of that I’m going to do all my crazy to do list and do all the things I feel important as I scheduled. But can someone help me somehow to take me somewhere to see the stars just for a night, so I can think clearly and find myself drown in the universe… Any idea where can I find that place?