I have lost it… I have lost the thing that gave me so much happiness, I have lost the element that I thought can give me everything. I have lost it. I have lost it and no matter I tried to seek it back, I’m still going to loose it.
Today, I tried to open a glimpse of what I called ‘my everything’, I tried to bring back the sweet memory of it… I just realised, that was my precious years that can’t be replaced. without knowing it, when I lost it, I also lost my writing desire. I wish I could once more be thirsty of it, by the words and all the grasp of victory and satisfaction that I no longer feel nor taste.
Here’s something that I wrote around 3 years ago, yet it feels like a long time ago.
Rugby is Everything
I like uniqueness, queer, something different, unusual (well you got my point). Here I want to talk about thing that I love the most and it is rugby. Some people say that rugby is an addiction sport, some people say that it is a dangerous sport and other people just don’t give a damn about it. Well for me, now rugby is everything. Many people think rugby is a guy’s sport, because it’s too rough for girls, but to me it’s exciting, it rushes my adrenaline, it makes my heart beat faster every second. I always feel like a lil’ kid who has nothing to do, but having fun when I play rugby. Do you know the sensation that I always feel when I touch the rugby ball? it’s fascinating to feel the oval shape under my finger. And I really like it when I have to swing it, or spin it to pass it to my friend and one of my favorite is to run with it, when I have to hold the ball tightly so close to me like it is the most vulnerable thing in the world and I have to avoid my enemies in front of me, I really connect with my legs, I can feel it moving taking me and the ball with it, I even like to charge my enemies (brutal), I just really like everything about rugby. I don’t even care that rugby gives me more scratches or bruises on my legs, my arms and other parts of my body, while people just looking at me like I’ve turned into a horrible thing. But I like what one of my friends told me, she likes to see me playing or even telling story about it, cause this is what they called passion, at least that’s what she told me.
I like to call this as a rugby fever, well I don’t mind to have it, cause only good feelings that I’ve got for having this fever. I’m not alone in this, many people shared the same feeling as I am, but of course most of them are guys. There are two other girls just like me, we became so close now and it’s all because of this thing that I’ve been fussing about. We can talk for hours just to talk about rugby, even if one of us keep repeating the same story, we never get bore about it, we just don’t mind. We do everything to play rugby, even if we have to arrive home in the middle of the night and we have to wake early for the next morning to go to school, or even we have to quarrel with our parents, again, we just don’t mind. Because of rugby I have more experience and I meet a bunch of new people that have different personalities every each one of them. And of course one of them is our coach, he’s probably the one who transmit this ‘so called’ fever to me and my two other friends. Well he taught a lot of things to us and he is the one who bring us to practice along with one of the rugby team that I adore so much, this rugby team called Jakarta Banteng Rugby. Yeah, this team is the team with that bunch of people I was talking about, the new people I’ve met. Well I can’t really explain every each one of them, but one thing I can tell about them is: they are a lot of fun. It is an honor for the three of us to join the practice and what’s more is there are no girls in Banteng. But I have my own problem, I’m going to be a 12th grader, it means I’m going to be busy for studying for the national exam and university, so I have to divide my time between rugby and studying. And now we sort of struggling (well not that extreme) to find more participants for the girls team and trying to reset all the people thought about rugby for girls. Well wish us luck… 🙂