Free Spirit

I’m a girl with so many things to dream of, too much of things I guess, but from all of that, what I really want to do right now, this very second is laying on the high rooftop with my back press against the roof ground and let my eyes see the wonder of the night sky. Imagine all the eyes, the billion or maybe the infinite eyes of the sky sparkle and wink at me for a thousand times and lure me into the whole new world that I’ve been dreaming of. Better yet, I can lay down on the nature itself, feel the grass beneath me, the cool night air against my skin and hear the sound of the living creatures around me and somehow make myself unite with the surroundings and just flow with the wind. I am no saint, but I do want my heart to be purified, to feel nothing, but happiness and there’s no such words as sorrow, gloom, sadness, hatred, specially hatred in my heart. What’s with all of the people who like to mind other people business and proclaim ‘war’ between their selves. Why can’t they live in peace and live happily ever after, just like the thought of every human kids used to think? why can’t we think as an ignorant kid anymore, where the world only felt like an enormous play ground and everything that lay beyond us was nothing but exciting path to walk on? I don’t really know the answer, but maybe it’s because of the basic nature of the human being who really like a bit or so many violence to be added to their life. Aren’t those people think about others, about the effect that they bring out to the world. I am not naive, I know the world is cruel, it’s no secret anymore, everyone who ‘declared’ as a grown up  knows, but I also know that there are still so much kindness out there.

My brother once said that I am a free spirit, I have a different way of thinking through stuffs, sometimes I used to over think unimportant problem and it’s really bad for me. I really want to be free, to travel all over the world and crack all the mysteries of each places and I want to write everyday, every night before I sleep about my awesome adventure that I live on. Somehow I feel trap right now, I don’t really know what to do, I’m going to face final exams in days count, but I can’t seem to hold myself. I used to be a girl with high scores in every subject, I had to or I might cracked up, but now I’m no longer that hideous girl, I know what I want and what I want have nothing much to do with hard subjects, math or whatever I have studied in high school, like I said, I want to be free, but I also want to be remembered in positive ways. I gotta admit it, it’s really hard to always argue and fighting with myself between what I want and what I need, I know my priorities, but other side of me likes to deny it and try to break free, to just do all the fun stuffs. So what I really do right now is thinking I’m going to get out of this misery in less than two months, with that, I’m going to make the best out of me, be that hideous girl for a little while longer to make great, better yet legendary high scores on my high school certificate, because like it or not she is still the part of me, the part of me that loves perfection, so I’m not going to let myself down.  After I finished all of that I’m going to do all my crazy to do list and do all the things I feel important as I scheduled. But can someone help me somehow to take me somewhere to see the stars just for a night, so I can think clearly and find myself drown in the universe… Any idea where can I find that place?

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Daddy’s Lil’ Girl

In the darkest day of my life the hands always come
It brighten up my days, washed out all of my sorrow
I fell, you were there
I cried, you were there
I don’t want this to change a thing
Cause I always be your lil’ girl

When the lightning struck, you comfort me
I used to run to you when I’m scared in the middle of the night
Dad, you’re my hero

I want my hands to always fit yours
as your lil’ girl
Growing up I am, see your eyes looking at me
it’s hoping that I always be your little girl
I don’t want to see the worries in it
Only smile, I look forward to see

Daddy I’m not going anywhere
Cause it’s just you and me against the world

Photos by: My dad

Ps: The adorable boy is my big brother that I’ve been growing up with…

Hello Jakarta!

It was Sunday morning, I accompanied my dad to Bunderan HI. Taking some good photos and writing blogs are his new interests and I’m totally support it, plus I like to be everywhere with no reason, just to walk and see the new sides of places and scan the whole thing with my eyes, hoping to find something odd.

Another good look of Patung Selamat Datang.

Never knew it would be this crowded on the car free day on Jl. Sudirman and Jl. Thamrin in Central Jakarta… My bad, should have been going out more often.

Rugby is My Valentine


Yesterday was the annual commemoration day that celebrating love and affection called valentine’s day. Many people celebrate it with the people they love. Well I didn’t, I don’t care about that day, I don’t celebrate stuffs like that, but yesterday, I was actually spending the 14th of February by doing something that I love the most other then writing, with no doubt, it is playing rugby. It was almost 3 months I didn’t play it. I felt something was missing, actually the big part of me were. Thanks to today’s Maulid Nabi which means: school day off, I could play yesterday, I used it as the reason against my dad, so I could go practice. For the result he agreed as long as I’m healthy and happy… And I am.

Ok start from yesterday morning. I went to school as usual. Got myself out from the school early to finished my school assignment, picked up my sister from her school, argued with my brother so he could take me to Gandaria, met up with my fellow Bantengs then finally got myself standing on the sand at Senayan, the place where we played beach rugby yesterday. We arrived early, so we waited for others to come. When the clock strikes 7, we were all ready to play. We started play 4 against 4. I was really excited with everything, there was nothing in this world that could screw my mood, but there was something that really bothering me. Before I went to Senayan I ate my lunch at home and everything that I ate was really spicy, but I have no choice but to eat it, cause it was cooked for me. I have heart to appreciate the one who did the effort to stop me from starving, so with struggle and so much water to drink I finished my food, regardless from the after side effect. Anyway back to the sand field. I was having so much fun and I did my first try. It was awesome, I got the ball passed from my team mate and took it with me to the try line, and because from the corner sight of my eye I could see my opponents ran to me, I started to jump and dive with my hands stretched out in front of me and let it helped the ball landed on the try line. So beautifully, my stomach hit the sand field, it made my stomach so hurt and increased the contraction inside, which had already happened quite a long time since I had my lunch. So I lead my way to the bathroom and as I got there my stomach was doing just fine. Still with my full excited spirit I went back to the sand field, took a rest and drink for awhile, then I continued to play. As I play my stomach did it again, but this time I ignored it, I didn’t care I just wanted to play, I knew I got constipation, but what the hell, I’ve been waiting for that day for too long. I didn’t want to waste my time, because I knew I had to wait until April, after the national exam to be able to play again. So yea the pain in my stomach was coming and going as I played. For 3 months off without rugby, I was quite satisfied with myself yesterday, I did a couple more tries and I could do side step, which made me so happy. The other great thing with yesterday beach rugby was I could play with Banteng, my favorite rugby club and share the passion that we have in rugby… Well that’s that for yesterday’s valentine story. Looking forward for more great stuffs and see you guys for another incredible rugby. 😀